so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
