I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
