pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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