Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
