Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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