Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.

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  (571): found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game. http://tfl.nu/h3cm
  Replies (21) Good night (5666) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.

  (631): View more from New York

  Cruelly.

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  (631): I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away. (631): Cruelly. http://tfl.nu/5k20
  Replies (23) Good night (4075) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.

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  (515): So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0btw
  Replies (13) Good night (8769) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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  (781): on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks? http://tfl.nu/o217
  Replies (6) Good night (3254) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.

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  (602): I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during. http://tfl.nu/nbdy
  Replies (3) Good night (2074) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.

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  (949): Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits. http://tfl.nu/xzwv
  Replies (4) Good night (2383) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.

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  (270): Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil. http://tfl.nu/p6d2
  Replies (14) Good night (2232) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.

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  (508): Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated. http://tfl.nu/0bri
  Replies (18) Good night (4365) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky

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  (617): Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky http://tfl.nu/3bkx
  Replies (5) Good night (782) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.

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  (215): There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her. http://tfl.nu/lhzd
  Replies (11) Good night (1282) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.

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  (202): I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party. http://tfl.nu/j3cs
  Replies (15) Good night (634) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.

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  (304): Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out. http://tfl.nu/fz3p
  Replies (2) Good night (446) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.

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  (586): She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late. http://tfl.nu/tfi4
  Replies (5) Good night (348) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.

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  (+44): They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota. http://tfl.nu/vw9g
  Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (191)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.

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  (804): He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him. http://tfl.nu/lrjc
  Replies (1) Good night (990) Bad night (182)

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