apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
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No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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