Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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