Texts From Last Night

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.

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  (231): i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am. http://tfl.nu/2854
  Replies (26) Good night (559) Bad night (2607)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.

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  (407): Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/dv8x
  Replies (26) Good night (560) Bad night (4351)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero

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  (970): The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero http://tfl.nu/ssyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5468) Bad night (606)
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  (707): View more from California

  I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n

  (559): View more from California

  sry, psychiatrist trumps professor

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  (707): I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n (559): sry, psychiatrist trumps professor http://tfl.nu/qnkf
  Replies (43) Good night (6638) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

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  (985): The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH http://tfl.nu/8euf
  Replies (39) Good night (4157) Bad night (636)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.

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  (413): You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief. http://tfl.nu/eaos
  Replies (40) Good night (5025) Bad night (3281)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  when i was alone, his dick was there for me...

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  (901): when i was alone, his dick was there for me... http://tfl.nu/g7ma
  Replies (32) Good night (5013) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.

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  (513): He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit. http://tfl.nu/4hrv
  Replies (23) Good night (4362) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.

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  (850): I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again. http://tfl.nu/731o
  Replies (10) Good night (984) Bad night (1493)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again

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  (506): When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again http://tfl.nu/dbq2
  Replies (7) Good night (2036) Bad night (679)
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.

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  (925): I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off. http://tfl.nu/d0dp
  Replies (5) Good night (1404) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense

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  (330): i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense http://tfl.nu/4n80
  Replies (0) Good night (379) Bad night (475)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.

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  (574): Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet. http://tfl.nu/biog
  Replies (3) Good night (236) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.

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  (513): The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex. http://tfl.nu/e8ga
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.

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  (+61): Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That. http://tfl.nu/q1fl
  Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (219)

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