white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking