I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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