I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize