I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
