i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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