he shaved USA in his pubs
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
