Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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