Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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