We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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