Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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