i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
