so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
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