Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
