Yo dont text me then not text me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
