He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
