I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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