okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm passing your future prison.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
