you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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