As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
