I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize