But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
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