a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
