i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
