Cold hands, warm shart.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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