do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
