you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize