I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize