Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
