ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
