I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Boobs speak an international language.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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