For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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