So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
