you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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