Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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