wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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