rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
