Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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