He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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