If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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