vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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