I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
