he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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