found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
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How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
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Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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