No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
