and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
