it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
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Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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