my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
