nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
