over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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