question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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