i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
