If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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