i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
