I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Panties = found
Randomize
