i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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